Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?

From a worldly perspective, there’s not much hope for a cheater to mend his ways or for that path to be corrected and stay corrected. The cheater can feel justified for his behavior. He or she can decide to believe that marriage/committed relationships weigh you down and interfere with freedom and happiness. How we think and what we believe affects our behavior. However, when a cheater realizes they have made a mistake and are repentant towards God and their spouse, there is hope for change.

I had an interesting conversation with my dad recently, and it made me realize how much God has grown me and how my perspective has changed towards my spouse. During the conversation, I knew of my dad’s feelings and judgments towards the “other woman” and her spouse. Because the other woman had been close to me, we were aware of some details about their life through the grapevine. My dad asked me if I thought it was acceptable for her and her spouse to lead Bible studies in their church. To his surprise, I said “yes”. Here’s why: we don’t know what they went through to reconcile their marriage, nor are we appointed judges over them. Also, just because we failed does not mean God can’t ever use us again. Because they experienced infidelity and healing from that, they have precious testimony and experience to share with those going through that or healing from it. I told him, “If someone commits adultery, does that mean they’re done? Should they live in self-abasement for the rest of their lives with no hope of ever doing good again? If that’s how it’s supposed to be, what did Jesus die for? The story doesn’t have to end there. Jesus Christ came to redeem and rewrite the story! He didn’t just come to forgive us of our sins; He gives us new life and a new beginning if we choose to obey and follow Him!

There is great comfort in reading Scripture. Throughout the Bible, God used people who were less than perfect, some who made big mistakes. David was one of them. You can read his story about his affair in 2 Samuel, chapters 11 and 12. He wanted the wife of another man. He had sex with her, she became pregnant, and then he found a way to have her husband killed so he could keep his sin a secret. God did hold David accountable and didn’t let him have the blessing of raising the baby that came about by these actions. However, David recognized his sin and repented. He married the woman after her husband died. What is amazing is that God redeemed and rewrote this relationship, which didn’t begin in the right way. The second child they had was Solomon, who became one of the greatest kings that ever lived. It was also through that broken family disaster that the line of descendants of Jesus Christ came from. Certainly, we can save ourselves from so much pain and trouble if we choose to do things God’s way. But in these times, we find our marriages on the edge of a pit and are willing to give ourselves and our marriage to God; He can change everything.

Here is a video I made sharing some of my thoughts about this ….